If you listened to tonight’s show, then you know the new EXPANDED Buffoon of the Year nominees – and the new attractions! It’s time to unveil the “Sick 16” – the nominees for Buffoon of the Year!
BRACKET A – Buffoons on the Campaign Trail
WENDY DAVIS vs. CHARLIE CRIST: Two failed gubernatorial candidates, each an epic fail in their own way. One’s claim to fame was her stand for the right to kill the unborn, the other is a flip-flopper between parties whose election became the poster child for all that is wrong with politics. Both tanked in their own way. It’s “the sneakers” vs. “the fan”.
MARTHA COAKLEY vs. DOMENIC RECCHIA: A two-time loser in two nationally-watched races that she should’ve won given conventional political thinking, Martha Coakley’s position was sealed when she once again snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. She was the typical empty suit. No agenda, no real campaign plan other than espousing her party and her gender. Truly the poster child for the 2014 campaign season for Democrats. Similarly, Recchia’s story is the same, but for different reasons. This beaut lost to a Congressman under a 20-count indictment, whose ex-girlfriend pleaded guilty to campaign finance fraud, who was caught taking women in the bathroom of bars for some fun, and who was caught on camera threatening to throw a reporter off the f—–g balcony. And he lost by double digits.
BRACKET B – Executive Buffoonery*
* President Obama himself is not included in BOTY 2014 – that would be too easy.
IRS vs. CDC: (Yes, we know that’s Kevin Spacey, who played Ron Klain in a totally different movie. But it works, no?) Do we really need to explain this one? In one corner, you have one of the biggest scandal stories of the year where a federal agency selected political groups applying for tax-exempt status for intensive scrutiny based on their names or conservative political themes. In the other, you have a potential nationwide health crisis led by a political appointee best known for his role in the 2000 presidential election recount (and his hot tub escapades, not that there’s anything wrong with that!) who remained largely silent as panic and hysteria gripped many across America.
SECRET SERVICE vs. OBAMACARE: Given the horrible year for President Obama and his party, his administration was fraught with cringe-worthy news stories. Take Julia Pierson, who resigned from the Secret Service after multiple breaches of the White House, instances of drinking on the job and other misconduct that had Congress calling her on the carpet. Meanwhile, Obama’s “signature” legislation remained under fire after an “epic fail” of a rollout in late 2013 / early 2014 when Jonathan Gruber, the so-called architect of ObamaCare, was caught on tape not once, not twice, but on three different occasions calling the American people stupid and praising the lack of transparency in passing it before anyone read it. Heck, when Nancy Pelosi denies knowing you, you definitely stepped in it!
BRACKET C – Loudmouth Buffoons
LEONARDO DICAPRIO vs. CNN: In what could be the biggest example of liberal hypocrisy this year, Leo used his fame to speak on the latest cause célèbre – climate control – while traipsing acros the world on his gas-guzzling private jet to places like Rio to lounging on luxurious diesel yachts owned by Arab oil magnates. Yep, that’s the poster child for saving the planet. Leo is up against an unlikely opponent – you’d have thought that MSNBC would have been here, right? Wrong. Because we expect buffoonery from MSNBC. But when you have one anchor (Carol Costello) reveling in the abuse of young women, while another pundit (Donna Brazile) acting as the apologist for the Left while disseminating misinformation, you know why CNN has fallen as far in credibility as it has.
DAVID MASCIOTRA vs. REV. AL SHARPTON: This is the battle with the best hair. Salon’s David Masciotra made news denigrating our veterans and servicemen in one of the most hateful pieces of internet trash (and that’s saying a lot!) published this year. Speaking of hate, he is up against the man who has made race-baiting a cottage industry. Yes, we know of his elevated roles in both New York City and nationally. Yes, we know he can’t find a coherent sentence with two hands and a flashlight on his MSNBC pulpit. And yes, we know of this days as an FBI Informant, his tax woes. But Sharpton’s incendiary tactics led to one of our nation’s most racial divided issues in decades in Ferguson, MO.
BRACKET D – The Zany and the Cray-Cray
FAPPY THE ANTI-MASTURBATION DOLPHIN vs. PURPLE PENGUINS: Only in America. Only in America can a costumed character meant to speak out against self-love get arrested for public lewdness for performing said act of self-love for everyone to see. And only in America do some feel the need to confuse children by referring them as a weird-colored fowl to promote “gender inclusiveness.” I… I just can’t…
ROSEMARY LEHMBERG vs. MIKE DICKINSON: No, these two aren’t cartoon characters, they are simply caricatures of supposedly-real people. Lehmberg, an elected District Attorney in Austin, TX became the punchline to many lawyer jokes when she was busted – and convicted – of drunk driving in probably the most epic fashion ever. Ever. DICKinson was a parody of a Democratic candidate who became known for his abrasive and infuriating Twitter feed (which thankfully was suspended) and for being picked apart of Greta Van Susteren and Sean Hannity for the fifteen minutes of infamy that is now thankfully over.