Each week on the “PolitiBunny On the Attack” show (Thursday nights at 9:00 p.m. EST on We Are America Radio), I give “props” to exceptional douchebags on my “Top 10 Douchebags of the Week” list. Said douchebags are nominated by the good people on social media, and normally discussed in great length on my show. This week, however, we were talking about the mess in Mississippi and did not quite get to the list. So I am blogging it. My friends, grab some popcorn, take a seat and prepare yourself for this week’s top 10 douchebags.
10. Russell Brand for saying Fox News is more dangerous than ISIS. Maybe Mr. Brand has missed the photos of ISIS gunning down long lines of people, or the tweets threatening Americans with another 9/11… or maybe he’s just a douchebag.
9. Liberal talk show host, and all around douchebag, Mike Malloy for vowing to “start a panic” if he sees someone open carry. Basically, Malloy said if he saw someone out and about with a gun he would call the police, then pretend to panic about the person LEGALLY carrying a gun. He would holler and yell, which would of course make the individual run out of said establishment. He went on to say that once they were outside, the cops would see the armed person and SHOOT THEM in the head. Yup. He’s definitely a douchebag.
8. Joe Biden for saying those who don’t support LGBT “rights” are troglodytes. Ya’ know, Joe says a lot of stupid things and has made this list at least four or five times, but I thought I’d include him this week for sh*ts and giggles. First and foremost, I still don’t understand which rights the LGBT community is going without, and second, he’s the vice president and shouldn’t be calling names. That and much more makes Joe a douchebag.
7. Last year, Wendy Davis “stood” for women’s rights, aka in her book abortion, for 11 hours. She was the first female senator to ever filibuster in the great state of Texas… unfortunately she stood for death. This week she was celebrating her fight to kill babies by auctioning off a pair of pink tennis shoes. Side note, she also planned a fundraiser and ended up just giving tickets away to the event because even Democrats have figured out she’s s a douchebag.
6. Sandra Fluke for complaining about the SCOTUS’ ruling on the “buffer zones” and voting in favor of the first amendment. Ms. Fluke (make sure you use Ms. or she’ll get all weepy on ya’) was very angry about women being harassed on their way to murder babies. Apparently telling women abortion is death and that a baby is alive is mean and hurts their feelings or something… and how dare we try and give them pause. Ms. Fluke screeched about women’s rights, forgetting of course that one of those rights is freedom of speech. Never forget, Ms. Fluke is a douchebag.
5. Louis “Jaws” Suarez (aka the world cup biter). Dude, what do you have to do to get a lifetime ban from soccer, murder someone on the pitch? Yeah, keep your chompers to yourself Louis, and you’re a douchebag.
4. Commissioner Jon Koskinen from the IRS – where do I even begin with this one? I think it would be easier to list the things that are not douchebaggy about Jon than to list the many, many, many reasons he is a douchebag. Forget that he was the CEO of Freddy Mac, and that he was a major Democratic donor. Let’s talk about his statement that he could find no “wrong doing” in the IRS – anyone else want to ask him how he can be sure of that when two years of emails are “missing?” Not to mention he looks like a little beady-eyed lizard, and you know he smells like cheap cologne and cigarettes. Yup. I have found plenty of evidence that he’s a douchebag.
3. Lois Lerner and her merry bunch of liars, backstabbers and conniving pricks (aka the IRS) make this list as a collective number three. How do we loathe thee, Lois? Let me count the ways. Pleading the fifth twice, magically crashing a hard drive, which somehow wiped away two years of emails (even though we know emails don’t sit on a hard drive on a computer), and looking like a pasty-faced wicked witch of the IRS. Oh yeah, and she apparently wanted the IRS to target Senator Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) specifically, and you know why? Because some group he was speaking with offered to pay for his wife to attend the speaking engagement with him. THE AUDACITY. Lois, you’re a douchebag.
2. Thad Cochran and Haley Barbour … you both would be number one on the list this week if I didn’t have a tradition of keeping the spot open for our CIC. However, please note that you are both disingenuous frauds and fully deserve to be on this list of douchebags; actually you guys are douche-nozzles which is worse than a doucebag. Shame on you for making a mockery of Mississippi. Shame on you for using uninformed voters to break the law. And most of all, SHAME on you for calling yourselves republicans. You guys aren’t republicans, you’re douchebags.
1. As always, President Obama is number one on this list. One time he actually called the show because he heard through the grapevine (aka the NSA) that he dominates this list every week. I’m not sure he quite understood that being the number one douchebag week in and week out is not necessarily a good thing. But hey, what do you expect from someone who wins the Nobel Peace Prize for absolutely no reason?
Okay folks, that’s it. If you want to hear this live (which really is the best way) please listen in to the show every Thursday night at 9:00 p.m. EST right here on We Are America Radio. Thanks for reading and have a great week!