WAAR Media has received the following statement from a current NYPD Police Officer under the condition of anonymity. Please be advised the post contains strong language and profanity which though not typical of WAAR posts, we felt was important to post in a version that was unedited.
* Al Sharpton’s name is left as it was typed as NYPD officers sometimes refer to Mr. Sharpton as the Sharp ton.
When I was a kid I’d see my dad come home with his gun and shield, and I was beyond intrigued. He was not only my hero, but the city’s. I couldn’t wait to grow up and be a cop. Just like my dad and my older brother. I didn’t know what the pay or the benefits were, I just wanted to help people. Fast forward 20+ years and here I am. Except I’m no ones hero, actually I’m the enemy.
It wasn’t until I graduated the academy and went out on the street I realized, wow, where the fuck am I? Dead bodies, homicides, drugs, guns. At first it was fun. A cat and mouse game. I get the bad guy off the street and it saves the city. As the years progressed and the neighborhoods I worked in got worse, slowly that bad guy I hunted transitioned. He was no longer a guy with a gun in his baggy pants, he was me. I was hated. By every single person I encountered. No matter what I did.
There were days I’d get my ass kicked. Days I’d get murderers and rapists off the street. It didn’t matter. I was a white Irish cop, the devil. It didn’t matter I tried in vain to give CPR to a dying baby, I was still the enemy a minute later. But at the end of the day the bad guys still feared us and that’s all that mattered.
Fast forward to the liberal anti-cop movement. City councils, CCRB, Al Sharp ton. Nobody gave a fuck that every night I saw a different black man take a bullet, they just cared that it was not mine. Now I get in trouble for cursing. What? If your wrestling with a mope with a gun are you gonna curse? Are you gonna fight back? Of course cause I’m human. Suddenly though, I can’t even be human. Those rights that are demanded by these protesters, well they’re everyone’s but mine.
I swore I’d never become that cop. That old, angry, numb socially uncouth cop. Well now I make that cop look like mother Theresa. Theres only so much a person can take before they shut down. No one calls 911 for good things. It’s a daily roller coaster of bad to horrific and it never gets better.
You take this job and you know there’s a chance you can die, obviously. But you think of it as, “OK , I’m in this gun battle with a bank robber and I die in glory.” You don’t sign up for “I’m gonna be sitting in my patrol car eating lunch and get executed from behind.” Give me a chance. A chance to fight back you fuckin coward. They never had a chance. And it eats me up inside.
I’m sick over it. I didn’t know them but I know them. They’re me. I’m them. I play it over and over again in my head and it makes me sick. Yeah that heartless animal murdered them, but he didn’t act alone. The city of New York run by its disgrace of a Mayor, di Blasio murdered them too. Here’s a man who stands in front of his city and tells them he’s afraid his son will get killed by a cop, all the while he has cops guarding his son 24/7. He enticed a race war. He allows a city to protest for a criminal and chant they want dead cops. Well they got what they wanted didn’t they? Right before Christmas, 2 funerals. A husband, a father, a son.
Every single day at work I encounter real bad guys. And guess what? They know they’ve won. They know we are hesitant. That fear is gone. Now that fear is in us. I have two little kids at home. I’m gonna leave them parentless for what? A city that hates me? Condemns me? Leave my spouse a single parent for a city that spits on me? It’s not worth it anymore.
I don’t know what’s going to happen but I do know this. You can curse us, spit on us, even fight us, but the day you kill us is the day you awake a sleeping giant. We were executed. We won’t be executed again. We are in hell right now, but if you think we are gonna sit back and get murdered you’re wrong. Their blood is on di Blasios hands. He has single handily divided the city. Not just black and white but black and blue. He stands next to Sharp ton, a man who has professed his anti-white anti-Semitic rants for decades. It’s egregious. Despicable. It’s almost like I’m in a different world. When the fuck did I become the bad guy? When the fuck did they let bad guys run the city?
So I never got to become that hero like my dad. But I got to share the same uniform as 2 of them-Ramos and Liu. Remember their names. They were murdered by the city of New York. The great city that I swore to protect, that never protected us back. Their execution will live heavy in my heart forever. I’ve officially lost my faith in mankind. But I haven’t yet lost my faith in God. And as I get dressed every day and put my vest on, I say a prayer to God, “Lead us to a place, guide us with your grace, to a place where we’ll be safe.” I don’t need to be a hero anymore, I just want to go home.